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Tough Times

Dear Grandma,

I am afraid I have passed on one of my worst personality traits to Aiden - my fear of not fitting in.  2 times in the last week Aiden has said he was worried his classmates would laugh at him for something he was wearing or doing.  First it was about his jacket.  It is a khaki color and has a small, orange dinosaur silhouette on one of the sleeves.  It's very inconspicuous and I doubt most kids would even notice it.  But poor Aiden didn't want to wear it because he was worried his friends would laugh at him because of the dinosaur.  Where did that come from?  Why would he be worried about being laughed at?  He's never told me he was laughed at before.  Being a victim of bullying I know all too well the bad feelings they can impress upon you.  It is the last thing I want for my children and I try to do superficial things to prevent any reason for them to be picked on.  Example:  I buy them Sketcher shoes because they are the 'in' shoe to wear.  It's so sad that I feel the need to worry about it, but because of my traumatic experience with mean girls I want to do any and all things to keep them from that pain.

People think that once you grow up and get away from those bullies you magically get over those bad feelings of being rejected, but you don't.  I have constant anxiety when I leave the house, and it used to be so bad that I'd make myself feel sick whenever we were going to be around a big group of people or go do something new.  That anxiety has kept me from doing so many things, which in turn has kept my husband from doing those things as well.  I have a fear of being rejected by everyone around me.  Those bullies took more than just my fun in grade school, they have taken many, many years of emotional freedom from me as well. 

I pray that poor Aiden never has to go through these feelings and hope that his being worried about being laughed at is just a phase.  He's a fun, bright boy and I can't imagine why anyone would want to be mean to him.  Then again, I can't understand why anyone would want to be mean to any other human being.  Why can't we all just get along?

Love,
Erin

Time For A Change

Dear Grandma,

I need to lose weight!  This is getting ridiculous and I'm about to the point where I don't want to see myself in the mirror anymore.  I'm embarrassed that I let myself get this far.  I know I don't eat enough fruit and vegetables, but I don't eat an overabundance of bad stuff either.  I'm really a bird when it comes to eating so how in the world did I get like this??  Oh yea, pop.  Now I remember my previous post.  Bummer, I DID do this to myself.  :( 

No, I'm not active enough.  If I could get my lazy self up out of this chair while Brennan is napping and actually pop in that dusty Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD I'd probably start to feel a little more energy and have more of that energy to keep moving after it's over and get some things done around here.  It's a vicious cycle. 

Our local Y is offering a Zumba class, which actually started last week but isn't too late to sign up for.  It's 2 nights a week, I want to do it but our schedule this week is so crazy I feel guilty adding 2 more busy nights to it.  Ugh, what to do, what to do?

I'm going to shut off the computer, turn the music channel on and get up.  It might not by a workout DVD but not sitting on my duff is a small start.

Love,
Erin

Do As I Say, Not As I Do.

Dear Grandma,

Hello, my name is Erin and I am a Mt Dew addict.  There, I said it.  I am an Mt Dew addict!  Ok, so I don't drink can after can after can, all day long.  But I cannot go a day without having a Mt Dew.  It's sad.  And I know it's unhealthy.  So I told Andy I was giving up pop.  Ha! Yea right.  I ended up talking Andy into stopping and getting me a pop one night after work and the next night I drove to the convenience store and bought us each a bottle then. So I decided it was better to buy a 12pk of pop and have it here at the house so I didn't drive us to bankruptcy by getting 2 bottles of pop every day.  Sad, isn't it?  I have no willpower to do something good for myself and my kids.  Because you know what I do is teaching them eventually do the same thing.  And with the boys I'm a bit of a freak about what they eat and drink.  Aiden is allowed a Sprite/7-Up at a restaurant once in a while but otherwise he only gets milk and water with the occoasional cup of 100% juice.  I feed them fruit like it's going out of style, which is something I never eat.  Is this where I say "Do as I say, not as I do"?  My poor body, I know I need to treat it better.  I need help.  Hello, my name is Erin and I need to eat healthier.

Talk soon, Grandma!
Love,
Erin

Once A Friend, Always A Friend

Dear Grandma,

I went to lunch with a good friend of mine today, who I haven't seen in months.  We had a great time chatting and catching up.  It felt like we just saw each other yesterday.  That's the great part about our friendship -- no matter how much time passes since we spoke last we always pick up where we left off and it feels like no time has passed.  I love that I laugh a lot when we're together and can say anything to her and she knows exactly how to take it.  I'm lucky to have her in my life.

Short afternoon since Aiden got out of school early, I'll write you more later!
Love,
Erin

It's Sticking!

Dear Grandma,

We're in for a cold spell for a few days.  They're even talking about a chance of frost tomorrow night, which is about 3 weeks early for our average 'first frost' date.  We might not even get out of the 50's for highs tomorrow!  That's crazy.  I love fall but I have to say I am not ready for summer to end yet.  I'm afraid with an early fall that will mean we're in for an early winter, and I'm definately not ready for that!

Aiden has been learning sight words at school.  So far he's learned is, the, my, like, yellow and on.  So this morning with his flash cards of those words I laid out "I like yellow" and he was able to read it, his first sentance!!!  I was so proud of him!  I am so glad we decided to go ahead with kindergarten.  Next week I might change my mind about that but today I'm happy with our decision.

Brennan surprised me today by knowing the color 'black'.  I have not been very good about working with him on his colors so I was happy when he told me a marble was black.  Some days he knows green and every day he knows pink!  He surprised me about a week ago by counting to 14 all by himself.  We do a lot of counting so I'm happy to see it's stuck with him.

I need to mop the kitchen floor, have a great afternoon!
Love,
Erin

9/11 - A Day Never To Be Forgotten

Dear Grandma,

I remember wondering as a kid if my generation would have a 'Pearl Harbor' in our time.  A significant event that we would never forget, always remember where we were when it happened, and think of on every anniversary.  September 11, 2001 is that event. Where was I when it happened?  At the salon, just starting my day.  I remember a state trooper came in for his monthly haircut and asked me what was going on, he'd heard a short clip of it on the news.  That was all I had heard, too, listening to the local radio station and them telling that a plane had hit the tower.  At that time we had no idea it was a terrorist attack or that a second plane was about to hit the second tower, a third plane was going to hit the Pentagon or that a fourth plane was filled with heroes who were trying to overtake the hijackers and crashed their plane in a field.  As the day wore on the news came in.  All I wanted was to get to a television so I could see what was going on.  I remember going to another salon after work that night and everyone talking about how you'd better fill your car up with gas because there was going to be a gas shortage, something that never did happen. 

Every year on the anniversary I think of those who died, but this year, being the 10th anniversary, is weighing more heavily on my mind.  Every news and talk show are doing features on the anniversary and telling their stories about where they were, or how they covered the story.  It's so hard to watch again, and I can't imagine being a survivor or a widow or a parent-less child having to re-watch the horrors.  It's hard to get away from it this year.  This is an event that will be with our country forever and ever and we should not forget it or what it meant for our country -- our sense of safety was taken away, our freedom was challenged.  Because of this event so many of our servicemen and women have lost their lives in the war that followed, which has left that many more widows and parent-less children.  It breaks my heart. 

I will never forget.

Praying for our country,
Erin

Dear Grandma,

I wish you could see Aiden playing flag football!  All of those boys are so funny playing out there, chasing each other around.  Last night they played the 'Red' team, both teams scored 2 touchdowns and Aiden was the quarterback on our teams first touchdown! We were so proud of him.  He really loves playing any sport but I think it's going to be a toss up as to whether T-Ball or Football is his favorite.

The other night Aiden and Andy were playing catch with a full size football and Aiden was worried it'd hit him in the head so he put on his bike helmet.  :)  Here's a picture of that. His mouth looks full because he's wearing his mouth guard.



And here are some pictures of their game last night.

Time to get Brennan down for his nap.
Love,
Erin

It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like.... Fall!

Dear Grandma,

Awww, it feels like Fall today!  Last night the low was the mid 40's and today's high will barely make it to 70 degrees.  It feels amazing!  Brennan and I have jeans on today and at 2:00 this afternoon I'm still wearing long sleeves.  That might be overkill but the point is it's not hot enough to have to take it off! 

Another sign of Fall is that I planted mums in my big pot in front of the house.  I was going to take a picture for you but my camera's batteries died and I can't find any double A's in the house to replace them (mental note, put that on my list for next trip to town!).  I also planted a hardy mum in my flower bed along the fence so next year I'll have some Fall color.  The hardy mum is a rust/burnt orange color and the two in my pot are deep red and white.  Nothing says Fall to me like mums. 

This weekend we removed wallpaper and border that was in our front living room.  Then we painted the walls Prairie Sage.  I LOVE it!  Again, I wish I had a camera to take pictures for you.  It's a nice soft sage green.  Because we didn't finish until supper time last night we didn't get the pictures hung back up.  Aiden has flag football practice tonight so I'm guessing they won't get up tonight either.  I'm just glad that wallpaper is down!  Next room to paint is Brennan's, then ours, then we'll tackle the kitchen and dining room.  The house is feeling more and more like our own. 

I have a few things to finish up before I have to go get Aiden from school. Enjoy the beautiful weather!
Love,
Erin

Dear Grandma,

I am getting more and more frustrated with Aiden's school.  It seems like they have forgotten that we have not all gone through this school system.  I feel like they should have had a new student orientation before school started so us 'newbies' could ask all the silly questions we wanted.  Everything that's bothered me has been little, but many little things can add to up to one big thing over time and today I about blew my top.  I just want to know the 'routine' so I'm not surprised and made to feel stupid again.

I'm sorry, I had to get that off my chest.  Moving on...

Brennan and I made some amazing Banana Muffins today.  They were your typical banana bread recipe but you made them into muffins and added a crumb coat to the top that put them over the top.  I found the recipe on AllRecipes.com.  It's a great website that has 1000's of recipes, I've used it quite a few times and have never been disappointed.  To get your mouth watering here's a couple pictures:

Now that Bren's napping I'd better go get the kitchen cleaned up from our muffin mess.
Love,
Erin